Rite "Rite" stands here for a complex set of ideas ranging from politeness and propriety to the understanding of everybody's correct place in society. Externally, Rite is used to distinguish between people. It allows people to know at all times who was the younger and who the elder, who the guest and who the host, etc. Internally, it indicates to people their duty amongst others and what to expect from them. Rite can be seen as a means to find the balance between opposing qualities that might otherwise led to conflict. Rite divided people into categories and builds hierarchical relationships through protocols and ceremonies, assigning everyone a place in society and a form of behavior. Obeying rite with sincerity makes rite the most powerful way to cultivate oneself. Thus "Respectfulness, without the Rites, becomes laborious bustle; carefulness, without the Rites, becomes timidity; boldness, without the Rites, becomes insubordination; straightforwardness, without the Rites, becomes rudeness" (Analects). Formalized behaviour become progressively internalised, desires are channelled and personal cultivation become the mark of social correctness. Though this idea conflicts with the common saying that "the cowl does not make the monk", in Confucianism sincerity is what enables behaviour to be absorbed by individuals. In the "Li Ji" (“Book of Rites”), the chief ceremonial observances were declared to be six: capping, marriage, mourning rites, sacrifices, feasts, and interviews. It would be enough to treat briefly of the first four. Capping was a joyous ceremony, wherein the son was honoured on reaching his twentieth year. In the presence of relatives and invited guests, the father conferred on his son a special name and a square cornered cap as distinguishing marks of his mature manhood. It was accompanied with a feast. The marriage ceremony was of great importance. To marry with the view of having male children was a grave duty on the part of every son. This was necessary to keep up the patriarchal system and to provide for ancestral worship in after years. The rule as laid down in the "Li Ji" was that a young man should marry at the age of thirty and a young woman at twenty. The proposal and acceptance pertained not to the young parties directly interested, but to their parents. The preliminary arrangements were made by a go between after it was ascertained by divination that the signs of the proposed union were auspicious. The parties could not be of the same surname, nor related within the fifth degree of kindred. By taking a sip from each, they signified that they were united in wedlock. The bride thus became a member of the family of her parents-in-law, subject, like her husband, to their authority. |